Contentment over Happiness

“Peace is the result of retraining your mind to process life as it is rather than as it should be.” Wayne dyer

On New Year’s Eve, I found myself obsessing over old tradition—the one where we open our list from the year’s onset to cross out those achieved, write new ones only to put them off till same time next year. For me, the day wasn’t going as planned. There I was in my sweatpants, hair unmade, internet being a drag (which implied no live streaming church service in Nigeria), dinner wasn’t ready and to add to it we are now plus one, my four month old needed me and I needed sleep. I was slightly perturbed because my life had changed, and we couldn’t go out to enjoy what others were “enjoying” — as was the norm for us before now. Amidst all these, a wave of anxiety arose and I was hoping it’ll all slow down or rewind for me to start over. Just before midnight, however, while our son was asleep; my partner who seemed relaxed, was watching a comedy show. I joined in and It didn’t take long before I found myself giggling. At midnight, the fireworks began. Although we couldn’t see it live, we watched from the TV screen, drank crodino and wished each other a “HAPPY” and healthy New Year, then it clicked: This was the life I’d always wanted, one I dreamed of for years.

But was I really happy without all my expectations being met? Were all the items on my list crossed? Truthfully, I didn’t care anymore at that point. Deep down I knew I was living my answered prayers and yes, not everything I hoped for happened. Tradition may have changed because obviously our lives have; but I am content with my life, love and family. Upon realising one could spend one’s life dreaming about what’s supposedly missing instead of enjoying what one has now. Here’s what I know now;

1)    Happiness will always be chased but contentment is a deliberate choice to accept and value what you now have. Channel your energy to “what is” rather than “what should be” while working towards “what needs to be”. 

Take a moment to ponder; would I be truly happier only when I achieve the things I hope for? If you can’t answer that then look back in retrospect. Were there times when you wished you had some things, a car, a house, marriage, child(ren), a job etc. You eventually got them and after a while the excitement wears off and so did the value. Truth is, as long as we’re humans, with insatiable needs and wants there’ll always be more desires, quests and dreams. Question is what are you doing with the “less” you think you have? Is it possible to be really content in your current situation even when it feels like you’re losing more than you’re gaining? I say a big YES…. and It starts with a simple act of gratitude. 

Thanks for stopping by and wishing you a beautiful 2020 :))

Love, Angel Xx