Thetwo most important daysinyour lifeare the day you are born and the day you find out why.” Mark Twain
It is strange how over the years, one’s identity can shift, remain stagnant, or evolve as a result of many factors; one of which is choice. Most times, the choices and decisions we make are our way of responding to our psychological (internal) needs, which often conflicts with societal (external) needs. These steps taken are patterned through the different stages of one’s life; past, present, and future. I used to believe that identity is predetermined, in the sense that events that show up in our lives are meant to be. So, how we respond to them doesn’t matter. If that is the case, what happened to free will? Are the choices we make the main factor that determines who we become? I wonder.
Since moving to Belgium, I have struggled (I’m still struggling) with my identity. Living here has certainly impacted my life in many ways. It has also left me questioning what I stand for, who I AM as a person, and what I AM on earth to do. It is in seeking answers, (while constantly searching for the right words that best describe who I perceive myself to be) I could grasp the meaning of this generous gift of life given to me. It is in answering these questions as honest and unfeigned as possible, am I able to find myself and unlearn certain patterns. I’m talking about patterns I have been conditioned to believe befits me, when reality, it was me conforming to a norm.
Who are you saying you are?
It’s funny how when describing myself, I would use words that followed these simple words “I AM,” lightly. For example, I am a mess, I am just useless, etc. These are words that should coincide with what I truly mean to say because do I mean that I am useless? Would it feel good if it was said to me by someone else? I think that we are aware of this thing we do, but we just don’t see (or have chosen not to see) its implications. As much as our identity is shaped by the inventory of our choices, thoughts, sexuality, beliefs, relationships, interactions, etc.; what we say about ourselves is an interpretation of our perception about us, and how we want others to perceive us.
As ordinary as this sounds, it is proven that most of our actions are an outcome of the subconscious. The way I see it, repetitive use of words, which we do not intend to qualify us, is like saying to the universe: this is who I want to be. Of course, the universe responds. Remember, what you put out is what you get back (not generally speaking). So who are you saying you are? What part of your subconscious are you feeding? What kind of words are you using to describe yourself?
If you’re still here, here’s a little assignment
Imagine you are already who you want to become. Write down a declarative statement about the image you have in mind. You can call it affirmation or mantra. For example, “I AM love,” for someone seeking to find love. That way, you’re declaring openness and readiness to receive and give love. This will also serve as a reminder to act in ways that align with that declaration. Please note that this is not a way of denying emotions. Acknowledging them while having a deeper understanding that a moment doesn’t define the future, is a balanced way to live. For example, someone seeking joy, but is sad can say, “I AM joyful, even though this moment isn’t. It may not sound realistic at first, but with practice, it comes naturally.
Thank you for stopping by. Feel free to leave a comment with your mantra/declaration/affirmation about yourself. Xxx