Affirm: “Whatever I need is already here, and it’s all highly for my good”
I remember clearly on a Tuesday afternoon in early July, I was seated under a pine tree. I had laid down, fallen asleep and calmed off from the anger that led me to wander alone. It was a longing. Longing for a holiday while on one, except that I wanted to go on my own. More like a retreat. And so I started to search for healing centres. I was desperate to just be away, far from the pain that was weighing me down at that time. I had chosen to be intentionally blinded by everything that was happening around me, that instead of enjoying that holiday I sought for another. Realising that there was nothing I could possibly do at that moment, I tried to just take my mind away from the thought and focus on the things/people around me. It didn’t work, so I started to read a book I carried along with a journal-“The universe has your back.”
In a chapter we had to write down what we wanted to see, but also most importantly, surrendering to the “higher force,” which explains: “Lean towards joy and let the universe lead.” I thought that by doing that it meant giving up control of the things I wanted to see manifest, but I tried to believe in that simple phrase. I began to affirm it throughout the day and afterwards. That simple affirmation helped me take my mind off what wasn’t happening (yet) to the present, with hope for what was to come. I went back to our apartment, apologised to my partner and just decided to enjoy every loving moment. The last days of our holiday became better.
A month later, I had visited my family back in Nigeria, which turned out to be one of the best times in my life. It was a turning point for me and I was just grateful to experience every moment. Two days after I returned, I was on a trip to Lanzarote with my partner. I jumped at it totally oblivious of what to expect. But it turned out to be the climax of healing for me. On our last days, we took short rides along on the curvy roads, mesmerised by nature, learning the history of the volcanic island and stopping to just appreciate it. One of which stood out for me was a trip by ferry to La Graciosa, a small island without paved roads. We rented bicycles and as soon as we began riding, I was a complete mess; I grumbled and almost resented him for putting me through that heat of riding on desert sand on a journey to nowhere. It didn’t take long before I reminded myself to just enjoy the ride.
It turned out to be almost 30 km ride round the mountains, along the sea with almost no one out there; just nature, my love and me. That trip retuned me back to my core: child-like and free. I realised that “nothing was holding me yet something bigger was ever present to guide and hug me, and between us was a (huge) space. I needed to fill the gap. I needed to open up and receive. And so I stopped, stared, cried, surrendered and was utterly grateful.” That very moment awakened parts of me that I was neglecting. It was then I realised again that healing comes in many forms. I didn’t have to go to India, or a healing centre to meet my soul. I only needed to affirm and be open to receive a respond from the universe.
“It may not turn out the way and time you want it; but it will be worth it when it happens, only if you believe.” Happyblacky